Biggest Loser - Week 5

-11.8
So, I have been working my tail off and trying to eat very well and it is finally paying off these last 2 weeks.  I don't know if anyone else can notice but I am down to a weight that I haven't seen on the scale for about 10 years.
          I thought today would be my last weigh in because I will be traveling next weekend but Megyn said "NOO! It is a 6 week challenge and you have to do it for a full 6 weeks."  Right now I am in the lead but I have to admit that I was going to let loose a little and enjoy eating out.  Bryan wasn't very happy about it and then Diane  said something at church about how she was going to lose 4 pounds this week (we"re already running pretty close). Bryan said she had a serious gleam in her eye. I think it got his competitive spirit going.  He started saying things like "I think you could still do it", " I won't bring treats in the car; just carrots", growing into things like "you don't need to eat much".  Now he's just making me scared.
     Seriously, he has been pretty helpful today.  He made cookies to take to our neighbors and just left a couple for us to eat.  When I came to the kitchen (I admit I was looking for something to graze on) he had put out a bowl of grapes.
     I guess we will just see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Pam's Marriage List

     My friend Pam is just one of those people who almost always has good advice.  I am not sure what has made her so wise but I visit teach her and she always teaches me more than I teach her.
     When my son was thinking about getting engaged she gave me a list of questions that she came up with for prospective marriage partners to discuss.
      She said this was her short list but it gives you plenty to discuss.  Here goes:

Pre-Marital  – Lets talk about it and everything else!!

PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS

·        What do you expect of a husband/wife as a:

o       Partner

o       Friend

o       Lover

ACTIVITIES

·        What traditions would you like to begin in your marriage?

·        How do you feel about activities with

o       With friends

o       With co workers

o       With extended family

·        Girls day/night out

·        Boys day/night out

·        How do you feel Saturday should be spent if the wife/husband don’t have to work?

·        What are some of the activities that you love to do?

·        How do you feel about vacations?

·        Are vacations without your spouse something that you would like in a marriage?

·        When would separate vacations be okay?

·        What do you feel about a budget for vacations?

RECREATIONAL

·        What do you like to do with your free time?

·        What are activities you would rather not do?

·        How do you feel about your partner doing an activity that you don’t care to do or want to be involved in?

·        How do you feel about a spouse spending multiple weekends in a row doing a specific activity?

·        What do you feel is excessive time on one activity by either the husband or wife?

SPOUSE RELATIONSHIPS

·        What communication do you want or expect during the day? Telephone, text, email?

·        Would it be important to you to have your spouse inform you they will be late, or there is a change of plans? 

·        Respect is vital in a marriage? How do you feel about your spouse putting you down, or making fun of you in front of others even if it is a “just Kidding” remark?

·        How will disagreements or conflicts of any sort be resolved?  Quiet time to think then discuss it together, a ride in the car to talk, bedroom to talk together without interruption or…?

·        If you have a problem with something your spouse did and they have no idea, how should it be handled?

·        If you feel your spouse isn’t doing his/her share of things how should you both work through it?

·        What are forms of affection that you would like your spouse to show you?

·        Is the giving of gifts, words of appreciations/gratitude and other expressions of love something that you would like in your marriage?

·        What do you usually do when you are upset?

·        How do you feel about the silent treatment?

·        What would make you feel secure in a marriage?

·        What concerns do you have going into the marriage about your present relationship?

·        Do you feel there are any issues that are unresolved in your relationship now and will these issues become a problem in your marriage?

·        If you really want to do something and your spouse does not, what compromises can you make?  Example: one couple each had 5 activity credits a year that they could cash in when they really wanted their spouse to be involved in what they did?  How do you feel about that idea?

PRIVACY

·        Do you feel there is anything okay to keep from your spouse?

·        How do you feel about friend relationships with the opposite sex?

·        Will you have a place (drawer, box, ect) that is just yours?

o       Would you feel upset if your spouse went through it?

·        Should your spouse have access to your email accounts?

FAMILY

·        How do you feel about your spouse’s family?

·        What if you do not care to go to a family activity of your spouse, should they go alone or not go?

·        What do you feel about getting advice after you are married from your parents?

·        What if your spouse is constantly putting down your family?

·        What obligations are important to your extended families?

·        What aspects of family time are important to you?  Family home evening, family meals, chores, activities,

·        What do you feel is the best way to spend the holidays with each others families?

·        Are there special times you would like to spend with your family?

·        If two activities are planned at the same time how should it be decided where you both go?

·        How many children would you like?

·        How much time do you think should go by before the wife gets pregnant?

·        If there is trouble with getting pregnant, how do you feel about adoption?

·        What qualities do you feel make a good mother?

·        What qualities do you feel make a good father?

·        Do you feel there should be a parent at home to raise the child?

·        When do you feel they are ready for daycare/preschool?

·        How will you deal with a child with disabilities?

·        Who changes diapers? Take turns?

·        Who cleans up if a child throws up outside of the toilet?

·        Who gets up at night with the children? Take turns?

·        How do you feel about Nursing?

·        What values do you feel are important in raising children?

·        How do you feel children should be disciplined?

·        Is it okay to spank a child?

·        What do you do if you disagree with the way your spouse is handling a situation with a child? Do you bring it up in front of the child? Discuss it later?

·        What sort of rules do you plan on having for your children?

·        What ways are important to you to teach a child the value of money?

·        How do you feel about discussing marital issues in front of your children?

·        How do you feel about harsh works, yelling, swearing, and criticism in the home?

·        How do you want to deal with children who play one parent against the other?

APPEARANCE

·        How will you deal with a spouse gaining weight?

·        How do you feel about the time spent exercising?

·        If your spouse make remarks about your appearance and you don’t like them, how will you deal with it?

·        Do you feel it is okay to tell your spouse how they should look, dress and act?

·        How do you feel about facial hair on a husband?  Beard, side burns, moustache

·        How will you make sure your husband/wife feels like they are the most beautiful person in the world?

·        What do you feel is reasonable in purchasing clothes to look good?

·        How much money should be spent on make up or hair?

·        How important are verbal complements on your appearance to you?

FINANCIAL

·        Are you bringing any credit card debt or unpaid bills into the marriage?

·        Who would you like to pay the bills for your family?

·        How much do you think each husband / wife should spend without the agreement of the other person every month?

·        Will you have a joint checking account or separate accounts?  

·        What amount of money should be saved each pay check?

·        When a household budget is determined what do you think should be included on the budget list?

·        What do you consider frivolous spending?

·        When and what should credit cards be used for?

·        Credit card dept is a like being chained so do you feel it would be wise to only charge what you could pay off at the end of the month?

·        What is considered a major decision financially and who decides it?

·        What is considered a minor decision and who determines the outcome?

·        Home purchasing – decisions to consider

·        Cost of monthly payment/taxes/household budget/ repairs/ yard equipment?

·        How important is health insurance to you? 

·        What is the best way to get health insurance?  Job, budget?

·        How much do you feel should be spent on gifts to each other for:

o       Fun

o       Birthdays

o       Christmas

o       Other misc. holidays and events

·        How do you feel about supporting or giving money to a family member?

·        How do you feel about paying tithing and fast offering?

·        How do you settle a dispute if one spouse disagrees with spending a certain amount of money on an object?

EDUCATION

·        Do you feel it is necessary to have a computer in the home?

·        How do you feel about internet time?

·        How much time is okay for games/surfing the int./ or getting downloads of music on the internet?

·        What do you feel about computers and TV’s in the children’s bedroom?

WORK

·        How do you feel about both the husband and wife working outside the home?

·        What if your job transfers you to another location out of state?

·        How do you feel about your spouse working late or extra hours?

·        How do you feel about leaving your extended family?

·        What are your feelings if your spouse has to work on Sunday?

·        How do you feel about lunches with co-workers?

·        How should days off from work be spent?

·        If your spouse works outside the home, how does that affect the responsibilities they have at home?

INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

·        What are your feelings regarding the physical relationship in marriage?

·        What was taught in your home about the physical aspect of marriage?

·        How will you deal with the differences in the desire for sex?

·        Do you want to be awakened in the middle of the night for sex?

·        Are there any concerns you have about sex?

·        Do you like being kissed in the morning before you brush your teeth?

·        Intimate relationships are very special, how would you feel if your spouse spoke about it with others?

·        How do you feel about discussing your likes and dislikes concerning sex?

·        How can you both deal with and understand the pre and post menstrual changes in hormones that can affect the woman physically and emotionally?

·        When you are finished having children who should have the “procedure” done?

RELIGION

·        How should Sundays be spent?

·        Can your children do things with friends on Sunday?

·        Are children required to go to church?

·        How do you feel about going to the temple?

·        Who is responsible for planning FHE?

·        How do you feel about family prayer and scripture reading?  Who will be responsible for gathering every one together?

·        What do you expect a husband to do to honor his Priesthood?

·        Who is responsible for getting the children up, dressed and to church on time? How do you feel about going to other family baptisms, blessings, etc….

DOMESTIC LIFE

·        Who should be in charge of the condition of the homes exterior?

·        Who will determine any changes in the decor of the home?

·        What items do feel are okay to purchase on a credit card?

·        Is it important to have a spotless home, a lived in look, or a home cleaned only when the husband or wife gets the bug to pick up all the clutter?

·        Who should be responsible for small repairs in the home?

·        What do you expect of your spouse when it comes to taking care of their stuff Clothes, books, work stuff, towels, shoes, etc?

·        What do you feel the husband should do?

·        What do you feel the wife should do?

·        Who do you think should take out the garbage? 

·        How many times is it okay to ask your wife/husband to do something before you do it yourself or get someone else to do it?

Laundry

·        How often should wash be done?  Daily, weekly, as needed?

·        Who should be responsible to get the laundry done? 

·        Wife, husband, or each do their own ironing?  

·        Would you like to do your own wash?

·        Who should be in charge of putting the laundry away?

Yard

·        How do you like a yard to look?

·        Who will be responsible for the lawn care?

·        Who will do the weeding and planting?

Car

·        Should a car be purchased new or used?

·        How much should be saved as a down payment for a car?

·        Who should be responsible for cleaning the cars?

·        Should cars be loaned to others?  Even if they are not on your insurance?

·        How will you handle your husband or wife getting in an auto accident?

·        What do you feel about speeding tickets?

Bathrooms

·        How do you feel about things left out on the counter?

·        Do you think the toilet seat should be left up or down after use?

·        How do you feel about the lid not replaced on the toothpaste?

·        How do you feel about hair on the floor?

Bedroom

·        What is said or done in the bedroom should remain confidential. Do you agree with that statement?

·        What if your husband/wife snores?

·        Do you like to snuggle or be left alone while you sleep?

·        How do you feel about watching TV in the bedroom?

·        What do you feel about clothes not put away and strewn across the room?

·        Who should make the bed?

Kitchen

·        Who do you feel should do the cooking?

·        Do you expect a meal every night?

·        Do you expect the meal to be ready when you get home?

·        Is it important to you to have only healthy food or is it okay to have junk food?

·        Who do you feel should do the grocery shopping?

·        Who should empty the dishwasher?

·        How do you feel about dishes left around the house or in the sink after eating?

·        How often should the refrigerator be cleaned out?

·        Do you feel a spouse should be told to do things?

·        How do you feel about honey do lists?

GARAGE

·        How often should the garage be organized and cleaned?

·        If there is only space for one car, who should get the parking space?

·        Is parking in the garage important for you?

·        How do you feel about the garage being used as a storage shed?

THE FUTURE

·        What goals do you have for the future?

·        What do you expect yourself to be doing in five years?

·        What do you expect your spouse to be doing?

·        Where would you like to be financially?

Nature Conservancy

     Bryan and I went to a Nature Conservancy get together last night.  The speaker was M.A. Sanjayan who I have seen as a guest on the news shows lately.  He was a good speaker.

Great Salt Lake Shorelands Preserve

     I like the Nature Conservancy because of their philosophy to work with businesses and local groups and the land owners to help decide what is the best use of the land. I like that they believe in paying for the land so that, at least in Utah, the ranchers are happy they get to see their land preserved and not turned into housing tracts but they can have money for their children's inheritance.  They have done this a lot around the shore of the Great Salt Lake.
      They also believe that connecting people to nature is important.  It seemed like the old idea of conserving nature was to set aside wilderness and it seemed to be mostly for a few intrepid  loners.  The conservancy likes to use their lands.That is why they almost always try to have a trail or boardwalk or something to help visitors enjoy the land. It is nice to walk the boardwalk in their Layton Bird Refuge.
      Dr. Sanjayan talked a little about the conservation movement.  He said so far it is always targeting the white, rich people and that we need to work to get others involved.  He used the example of going down to talk to the students at BYU.  I was amused that the rich, whites at BYU were considered a different group. Considering that this was taking place at Squatter's Brew Pub I suppose we were in the minority.
     He mentioned 3 groups to target:
          
            *businesses- because they are willing to pay when they realize that sustainability is important for long-term viability. He said in Quito they pay the native tribes in the mountains to maintain their                     grasslands and forests because it ensures that they will have good water for a long time.
           *The Poor - they seem to get out with their families and really enjoy these open parks and places and are often the first hurt when the environment changes.
            *Youth because they are good at networking and organizing. So you guys don't have to donate yet  you just need to care and get others to care.
 We are the lucky generation because we have the chance to really make a difference by the decisions we make  or we could crash and burn and the earth will never recover.

I suppose you know that there are now 7 billion of the Lord's precious children on this planet.  Let's make sure we take care of each other by making sure everyone has resources. If you want to know what the population was when you were born you can visit this UN Population Fund site:
 http://www.7billionandme.org/about-you.php

It's safe to say that it is very approximate.

2,966,841,452 were alive when I was born.

I was Number 2,966,841,453!  I am so Special.

So at 7 Billion if you are 1 in a million there are only 7,000 people just like you!